“Didn’t I conquer this last year? Tell me what I missed because I fear that it’s coming back up again.”
-Jonathan McReynolds, “Cycles”
“Don’t go back.” The simple but powerful instruction was made in the midst of a Sunday sermon. This warning that the preacher so adamantly advised the congregation stuck out to me. Little did he know, but so many people from the past – who needed to remain in the past- had been suddenly reaching out to me.
I didn’t get it—didn’t quite understand. I mean, months or even years of silence and yet these people from the past were resurfacing. Of course, I had my questions of why and what should I do, but those three words from that preacher (don’t go back) and the conviction in my heart were the answer.
Things didn’t work out with those other people for a reason—they were only meant to be around for a season. Sure, time and experience could have changed them, but I’ve also learned the importance of knowing who and what is for you and what isn’t. Holding on to what isn’t could potentially delay what is…
Then, sometimes situations recur or people return because we missed the lesson the last time. Thus, the quote at the beginning of this post. Knowing that something or someone isn’t good for us isn’t enough; sometimes you have to take literal action to avoid them. Because if we don’t break away from these cycles, it prevents us from moving forward to what awaits us. When stuck dealing with the same old circumstances or allowing past people to ruin our peace and confuse us, we are distracted and bound to those negative aspects.
I have found myself in the same situation over and over the past couple years. The same people trying to return, for whatever reason, when I was so sure I had closed those doors and adopted the song’s advice to move on and leave the past behind me, in my rearview mirror.
Nevertheless, it seems like deer keep coming from nowhere to get right in the way and impede upon my ability to move forward. So, in recognizing those déjà vu moments and after getting out of my feelings, I finally consider the question: what should I be learning from this? Then, the song “Cycles” by Jonathan McReynolds featuring Doe came to mind recently. In listening to the lyrics, it was relaying what I was experiencing, how I need to be free from this recurring cycle.
I don’t want to deal with the same questions, confusion, mistreatment, disrespect—none of it. I don’t have to go through this again because my Heavenly Father has the power to provide me the boldness and strength to walk away from it—to break every cycle, for there is power in the name of Jesus Christ.
So, to anyone else dealing with the same old same old, I want you to remember that it can and will stop if you take the steps to stop it. The cycle could be relational, financial, spiritual, or a generational curse that keeps repeating itself, but it can be broken. Just as Jonathan McReynolds’ song suggests, look to God to equip you with the power and authority to break free from those destructive patterns.
Speak against those negative forces, keep praying, trust in God’s Word, and ask Him to strengthen you to break free from that bondage. For there is nothing too hard for God to do, and I think this line from the song sums it up best: “I’m a different fighter now, and I have God to thank ‘cause His joy is my strength.” Tap into His joy and receive what you need to break free of those cycles. God bless.
Poem – Break the Cycle
“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” Galatians 5:1
Going through this again, the scene so similar, the feelings feel faintly familiar.
A sinking weight in the pit of my stomach as the memories come rushing back.
A déjà vu moment invoking an intense impact like that of a fast-moving train being stopped in its tracks.
All of it seems the same as one, two, three—too many times before.
I thought for sure I’d moved on from this—never to encounter this situation again.
I thought I’d gotten over this—never to experience this type of hurt again.
I thought I’d been delivered from this—learned the lesson the last time.
But here I stand face-to-face with the culprit of the cycle of emotional crime.
A person returning once again wanting a second chance—insisting that he’s a different man.
Different day, same old lines.
Truthfully, I’m tired of the disappointment, the pain, and the lies.
But I won’t put all the blame on the person that’s come attached with not-so-fond feelings.
I’ve accepted my part to play as well
Because none of it would be possible—couldn’t be happening again
If I didn’t allow it.
If only I had learned the lesson.
If only I’d discarded my insecurities and operated in the authority God granted to me.
If only I wouldn’t let SWV’s notion of being weak
Make me succumb to the fleeting good feelings
and hope for things being different.
Falling for the potential, instead of what’s right in front of you, will mess you up each time.
I mean, even Maya Angelou said, “When they show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Still, got too caught up with dishing out the “benefit of the doubt”
And clinging to glimpses of what he could be.
That’s exactly what the enemy would want me to believe—
Exchange my joy, peace, and faith
For the counterfeit he hopes to trap me with
That’d bring confusion, attack my self-esteem, and accept lies.
Take away my virtue.
Catch me in a mistake.
Give up hope in God’s promises—to forfeit His plan for my life.
I mean, I’ve been here before because Satan knows what I want, too.
He’s an observing adversary with tricks up his sleeve like a magician.
Willing to do anything to thwart God’s plan for me and for you.
So, no wonder it’s got me repeating the same situation on a different day.
But I thank God for a way of escape and Him being the way out of no way.
For what Christ has done for me, means that I am free—that we all can be free—from the bondage.
The chains of pain, disappointment, mistreatment, heartbreak, sorrow, past mistakes.
It means that we don’t have to keep going through the cycles.
Generational curses. Abusive relationships. Poverty. Violence. Injustice.
It stops with you. It stops with me. It stops today.
Don’t go back to what God delivered you from.
You can overcome—break the cycle—with God’s aid.
‘Cause Doe sang the advice—that the joy of the Lord is our strength
To equip us with the power to walk away from it.
Implement strategies for making sure the generational curse ends.
And most importantly, lean on God to see you through it,
So that you can indeed live free, for who the Son has set free is free indeed.
Today, let us all make the decree:
I won’t go through this again;
It stops with me.
In the name of Jesus, I am free
To break every cycle trying to bind me. Amen.
Andréa Hardaway 