“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”
-1 Corinthians 13:4-6 NIV
The relief was instant once I’d walked away from the microphone and podium that were positioned just feet in front of a small stage. I couldn’t appreciate the applause or even revel in the reality that my first fine arts event had successfully completed. Despite a couple hiccups, the event had been a time of encouragement, fun, and good vibes—more than I expected it to be. Regardless, my mind could only be glad that it was all over—I’d made it through without tripping in the painstakingly cute, glittery heeled shoes or succumbing to the anxiety that tended to rear its ugly head when in social situations. I believed the night was over until a friend approached the mic. Curious and confused, I listened to the kind words and watched as a bouquet of flowers were presented to me. Shocked, touched, grateful—just a few of the emotions I’d experienced in the moment, but unbeknownst to them, I saw this as a moment of hope. Hope to not give up on friendship, community, and love.
Honestly, we all may have encountered unpleasant experiences that have disappointed, hurt, or negatively impacted our view on relationships. Maybe you’ve loved someone who did not reciprocate it, or maybe you’ve been betrayed by a friend long ago, or maybe your kindness/love was abused and misused. Those profound experiences could cause you to put a wall up and decide to be selective in who you allow into your life; that’s understandable. However, sometimes that hurt, betrayal, or mistreatment can be so strong or have happened so often that one may consider giving up on letting people in altogether—forget friendship, community, and love. Admittedly, it can be tempting to want to abandon friendships or hope for a romantic relationship because you’ve been let down too much, hurt too many times, or life just happened where many relationships just didn’t last. Thus, the island of isolation may seem like a feasible, preferrable option.
But other positive experiences, 1 Corinthians 13, and Kirk Franklin’s song “Try Love” reminded me that isolation and giving up on love are not the answer. The aforementioned, unexpected bouquet of flowers from my friends is just one instance to assure me that I’m seen, cared for, and loved. Likewise, there have been other times where family, friends, or even strangers have expressed kindness to me. Instead of reminiscing on the bad experiences, remember the good ones. If you’re unable to recall a moment of love when dealing with not-so-lovable times, remember that God is love, and there are so many ways in which He loves us. Some of those ways include Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for our sins, providing for our every need, longing to have relationship with us, and sending people into our lives that show us love.
As His beloved, we are called to love as well—not just those we are close to but even strangers, neighbors, and enemies (See John 13:35). To know what love looks like, 1 Corinthians 13 describes it clearly with these words: patient, kind, selfless, enduring, not jealous or boastful or proud. Jesus was the ultimate example of love in His sacrifice and how He treated others while on Earth. We, too, are to follow His example even when people take our love for granted, mistreat us, betray us, or hurt us; we’re still expected to love. No, it absolutely will not be easy, but it’s doable with God strengthening and helping us to do so. Therefore, continue to show love regardless of those who do or don’t reciprocate it to you.
The final point to keep in mind when tempted to give up on love comes from Kirk Franklin’s song “Try Love.” The following line made me do a contemplative pause: “Get out and touch somebody, love somebody, hold somebody. Don’t you know that you just may be the only Jesus that they see?” This served as a truthful reminder of how powerful our words and actions can be on others. With so much going on in the world nowadays, you really have no clue what another person may be going through in his/her personal life, but treating someone with love can make an everlasting impact. When you show love that’s unwarranted or unexpected, it may mean a lot to that individual and enable them to see Christ in you. What you do, say, and how you treat people can be what sparks an interest in Him and shows others a glimpse of who He is. So, just as the lyric suggests, show love because you never know the impact it will have and how it could be a reflection of Jesus.
While this is love month, I couldn’t help but consider those who at times may not feel loved or who have considered giving up on love because of the numerous letdowns, disappointments, hurt, and frustration experienced when it came to relationships. Even in those times where you may not feel loved, recall those moments when you did feel loved; think on what 1 Corinthians 13 says about love (that it is patient, kind, and everlasting); and never forget that God loves you. I hope that you will keep these ideas in mind and choose to try love again.
Andréa Hardaway 