“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”
Psalms 139:14 KJV
I saw a meme that basically said April Fools’ Day was cancelled this year because nothing that is going on is funny. I could understand the feeling. I mean, you can’t go out and eat in a restaurant, can’t go to the movies, can’t even go see your boyfriend/girlfriend if you wanted to. You’re just stuck in the house maintaining distance for concern of not spreading or contracting a disease. A lot of things we used to do without a thought became unavailable to us. Being able to just hang out with your best friend or have memorable moments with a group of people just isn’t possible in this time. This pandemic has forced a lot of people to step back and really evaluate their lives: what am I going to do once this is over? What can I do while I’m isolated? Am I pleased with the choices I’ve been making or the life I’ve been living?…
One thing I’ve had to do during this time is self-reflect, and sometimes it is hard to turn that mirror on yourself: to really evaluate what you’ve done, where you’re trying to go, and what you’re doing in the present to get there. Some good things about this time of self-evaluation are being able to work on fixing the broken pieces; becoming a better person; and discovering who you are, what you deserve, and what you should allow into your life. Self-esteem and self-worth are important aspects. How you feel about yourself translates into how others treat you, what you allow in your life, and how you live. It’s vital to know who you are, affirm who you are, and grow into the individual you want to be. Sometimes I have to refer to what God’s word says about me: I’m more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37), I can do all things in Christ (Matthew 19:26), I am the head and not the tail (Deuteronomy 28:13), I have a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11), I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). When your mindset changes, so do the things around you.
To further reiterate how important your thoughts and feelings are in what happens in your life and how you see yourself, I’ve added a poem I’ve written that encourages one not to allow a genuine concern for other people to enable you to accept mistreatment–to not let your kindness be a weakness. It’s okay to care about others and be generous, but it’s not okay for you to be unhappy, mistreated, or misused in the process. Before you read the poem though, I want to encourage you with any free time that you have to ask yourself the same questions from the first paragraph about your own life and go forward with clear intentions of betterment and expectation of a bright future.
Trust God to See You Through
What do you define as your self-worth?
Do you love yourself enough not to allow unnecessary hurt
From people that claim to love you, be there for you, that take on the title of ‘friend’?
Do you respect yourself enough to walk away when it’s clear that their toxic ways won’t end?
Or are you going to sit there letting the rain pelt you from head to toe?
Zip your lips, throw away the key, and accept anything
Because you care more about their feelings than the misery you’re dealing with.
Will you continue to suffer in silence because you think their validation and presence is worth more than your happiness?
Aren’t you tired of this?
Your care turning to resentment because they won’t treat you the way you want to be treated.
But you can’t completely blame them because you let their maltreatment go unquestioned,
Continued without impalement, done without correction.
I mean, you keep second-guessing: want to give them the benefit of the doubt.
You come up with excuses for them without ever opening your mouth
To ask what you want—no, what you need to know.
Then you wrestle with sadness, hurt, and hope…You’re unsure which way you should go?
You start to feel like there’s an unseen revolving door in your life,
Where people come and go as they please: they don’t care whether you’re alright.
And then you get left picking up the pieces of your broken heart.
Thought you’d learn your lesson, but you’re back at the start.
And just in case you didn’t know: some lessons you should come to know
Is to love yourself, speak up when things aren’t well, and let go of those who aren’t trying to help.
See, you keep trying to hold on to seasonal people when you shouldn’t.
The anointing on your life isn’t meant for every single person to partake in.
Sometimes you just got to let go of them.
When God warns you of who they are, believe Him.
When their actions reveal how they feel, believe them.
But you should also speak up for yourself.
And if their behavior doesn’t change: you’ve got one of two ways to go.
Either accept what they give and continue to suffer or make the choice yourself and walk away from a pain that isn’t worth it.
You deserve better. Don’t settle for less.
Don’t fall into that trap of forever disappointment because you believe this is the best you can get.
You are better than this.
Just be patient.
I know things look bad now, but what does God’s word promise?
The race isn’t given to the swift nor the strong but to those who endure until the end.
Wait for God’s promise; it’ll be much better than this current circumstance.
Embrace love. Work on you.
Forget others who don’t want to be involved with you.
Trust God to see you through.
Andréa Hardaway 