“Trust in the lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
“I don’t understand.”
Have you ever said or thought this? And I don’t mean just when you were in school and the teacher was trying to show you how to do some complicated math concept. I mean, have those words come about as the result of an unexpected event or an unexplained hurt from another person?
I have found myself uttering or thinking these same words so many times the past two weeks, or even months, about a lot of things. I get that bad things happen to good people and good things can happen to bad people, but the alternate is also true. Ultimately, good and bad happen to everyone. Some things occur that just don’t make sense; it leaves me scratching my head, looking dumbfounded, and struggling to figure out ‘what was the point?’ I’ll just take one instance since going into my whole life story at this point isn’t exactly feasible but take a moment to consider rejection. It could be rejection from a job you really wanted or just the sting of your crush not feeling the same about you.
So, picture being in a really good place with another person: conversation is easy between the two of you, you get along well, you treat each other with mutual respect and kindness. The relationship, as you know it, is going great. Then, unexpectedly, you find yourself sending a text, but the person doesn’t respond…You try a call, convincing yourself that maybe the person is just really busy; the person doesn’t answer…Three attempts to reach that person and no response, no explanation, no clue as to why a good thing suddenly turned into nothing…I’ll just be blunt: rejection sucks, especially when you have no idea why it happened. But this is just one of many examples. Loss, disintegrated relationships, betrayal, conflict, and more can all happen unexpectedly.
Things may happen that we don’t understand in that moment, but it’s okay not to understand. Maybe there are just some things we don’t need to know or understand just yet. Maybe one day it’ll be revealed why that relationship didn’t work, that job fell through, that school didn’t accept you, that friend turned his back on you. What matters, though, is knowing that the circumstance serves a purpose. God is omniscient: He knows all things. He sees the bigger picture and knows that this one chapter is just a little part in the overall story that’ll come together in the end. While it may not be easy at times—I can attest that it isn’t—we have to stop trying to figure the situation out and go to God. Go to Him with the pain you feel, the disbelief, the questions, and trust God to work everything out. In the midst of going through, it’s easy to get discouraged or bogged down by what you see, but it’s important to remember what you know and have heard. I know God’s promises: He won’t forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6), all things will work out for my good (Romans 8:28), joy will come (Psalms 30:5). Eventually, the pieces will come together: the struggle will be worth it. In the meantime, we just have to keep holding on, lean on God, and anticipate the bright future to come, knowing that it all is a part of God’s plan.
The Unexpected
It’s like the rug being pulled from under your feet:
You didn’t see it coming.
Naïve to believe that everything was panning out fine.
Then without warning, you were blindsided.
Blindsided by the hurt, betrayal, the unanticipated fail.
Something that has you scratching your head.
Something you simply don’t understand why it happened.
And that gives you two things to deal with:
The pain and confusion.
The mind scrambling to find out why this event happened–
Why did the employer let you go, why did the friend betray your trust, why did the romantic interest go cold?
Here you are left suffocating without knowing why.
The unexpected is a part of life.
Yes, it will hurt and take time to move on,
But the good thing is that the pain will subside.
The bad serves as a necessary trial to usher you to your future.
In the end, you’ll be where you need to be,
And maybe you’ll see why those things happened.
A better job awaits, a true friend will find you one day,
A mate that’ll accept you for who you are is on his/her way.
It’s my job to remind you of the bigger picture—God’s plan.
It’s much better than the one we can imagine
Since He sees and knows all things.
My best advice is to trust in Him and not lean on your own understanding.
I’m not saying to neglect your feelings or that you don’t deserve to be angry, sad, and hurt.
I’m just encouraging you not to let it all stop you from moving forward—
To go after the good that you want and deserve.
Let me remind you that it all has happened for a reason; you’ve got to believe it.
Andréa Hardaway 